Double Fisted (short)

no show and no y
two am and I am pissed
Two phones mucho dial

Power of Me

I have to tell you that today is one of the roughest days I have had in a long time.

I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I didn’t care that I was late. I was just speeding downhill.

I heard a friends voice on my walk to the train station and you I remembered her telling me that I was working everyday for me and son.


I got to work and I was standing at the elevators and thought, “ I am going to have to go on an anti-depressant. As I unpacked my bag, I thought about how I cannot afford another monthly bill and that is all a new medication would be.


I prayed as I filled up my coffee press. The serenity prayer was all I could think of. “Lord help me to accept the things I cannot change, give me the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

As I walked back to my desk, I thought this:

“How would I behave if I knew that I was only X amount of months away from my miracle? Would I act differently? Wouldn’t I be more focused on the victory over my situation instead of this troubling and dark moment. Lastly, I thought that I need to be fully engaged in creating my own miracles and making my own change.”


That’s my new and improved attitude: I am counting down to my miracle. I don’t know when it is going to happen but I want the lift and light that only come from focusing on the goodness of God to permeate my life. That is an attitude I can have every day because my attitude and more importantly my actions are all things I can change.

The Inauguration Is Over

I find it difficult to even articulate my emotions at this moment. How does one stand in a deluge and contemplate a rain drop? My thoughts could fill a sea. In the coming days and weeks, even months and years, it will become clearer what this moment really means. However for now, I have to try and hold it together; not unleash the cry that swells deep in my spirit. A cry for peace, that means you too Israel. A cry for equality and love and justice and righteousness and just some “do right” and everything that we all want and all of it right now! And unlike before, I am not crying alone. My voice is but one in a chorus of Americans. We will be singing as we are working. As I am writing to my complacent congressman, my useless state senator and my unknown judges. That cry has to be tempered into daily speech and widdeled down to choice splinters of truth that I carefully administer in my discussion and actions. For today, is the culmination of something that I felt months ago and my ancestors prayed for year after year. Right now, I am just thankful.

Uncouthku: Thoughts on the Moment

Take the placebo
Believe you can change your life
If it works its real