Kitty Korner -- Dating Support
The 6 month Rule
For every story, there are three sides; my side, your side and the truth. In every relationship, there are three people; you, the dude and Kitty. Kitty is your sex drive and as my friend Armenta says “SHE WILL LEAD YOU DOWN THE DARK AND SHADY PATH EVERY TIME!” In order to date successfully, or a little better than how I was dating which could only be described as abysmal, you have to get honest with your self and set some ground rules.
We are going to start with the easy external stuff.
Rule #1
The Probe (This is not what you think it is. Y’all are so nasty!!)
The Probe stands for the probationary period that you should institute when you meet someone that you are interested in dating. No one should meet your child for until you have known them for six months. Hear me on this. It is not cute to have to explain to your child/children where their newly leased, Updated Daddy went.
You are not slick. No play dates with this guy and his kids. Come on! Our kids are not stupid. They know when something is going on and they will be the first to see the romantic connection between you and dude.
So after months, literally of baby sitters and dates, you are ready for some spontaneous time together. He has free time and you are at home with your child that is going to sleep in 30 minutes. Enter the Night Shift, the single mom smash and grab.
Since Kitty is bound to take over and the next thing you know your legs will be over your head and ummm… well anyway how do we navigate these treacherous waters. I think it is okay to let him punch the clock after you feel like you can trust him in your home. Numbers help me keep Kitty in check and stop her from running my brain over. If you can make it, don’t give him the time card until 3 months into it. As with any other job, make sure has completed the necessary paper work. The IRS should have nothing on your investigative skills. Do you know his complete name? Where was he born? Is he a US Citizen? For direct deposit purposes does he have a saving and checking account? Bottom line you need to know as much about this man as possible before you allow him to spend the night in your house with your child. Which leads us to a discussion on how the night shift works, the formula is simple: he has to be in after your child is asleep and out before he wakes up. Now let’s be clear, you child is probably not sleep 10 minutes after you put him to bed. Come on y’all! Wait at least an hour and then let the brother in. The converse of is true as well. He has got to be out an hour before your child wakes up. Do not budge on these parameters. Remember the Night Shift is a part of The Probe. Not the end of it. The point of this whole exercise is to keep you and your child safe and drama free. If he breaks the rules then, he loses his job. Lastly, make sure your bedroom door has a lock.
This may all seem a little unrealistic to you. I think achieving want you want most out of life requires work and no really achievement is gotten easily. Six months in the grand scheme of things is very little time. However, six months in the dating world is a very long time. The flakes will hopefully shake out by then. Remember women control relationships. Preserve your rights and reserve your right to extend the Probe.
The 6 month Rule
For every story, there are three sides; my side, your side and the truth. In every relationship, there are three people; you, the dude and Kitty. Kitty is your sex drive and as my friend Armenta says “SHE WILL LEAD YOU DOWN THE DARK AND SHADY PATH EVERY TIME!” In order to date successfully, or a little better than how I was dating which could only be described as abysmal, you have to get honest with your self and set some ground rules.
We are going to start with the easy external stuff.
Rule #1
The Probe (This is not what you think it is. Y’all are so nasty!!)
The Probe stands for the probationary period that you should institute when you meet someone that you are interested in dating. No one should meet your child for until you have known them for six months. Hear me on this. It is not cute to have to explain to your child/children where their newly leased, Updated Daddy went.
You are not slick. No play dates with this guy and his kids. Come on! Our kids are not stupid. They know when something is going on and they will be the first to see the romantic connection between you and dude.
So after months, literally of baby sitters and dates, you are ready for some spontaneous time together. He has free time and you are at home with your child that is going to sleep in 30 minutes. Enter the Night Shift, the single mom smash and grab.
Since Kitty is bound to take over and the next thing you know your legs will be over your head and ummm… well anyway how do we navigate these treacherous waters. I think it is okay to let him punch the clock after you feel like you can trust him in your home. Numbers help me keep Kitty in check and stop her from running my brain over. If you can make it, don’t give him the time card until 3 months into it. As with any other job, make sure has completed the necessary paper work. The IRS should have nothing on your investigative skills. Do you know his complete name? Where was he born? Is he a US Citizen? For direct deposit purposes does he have a saving and checking account? Bottom line you need to know as much about this man as possible before you allow him to spend the night in your house with your child. Which leads us to a discussion on how the night shift works, the formula is simple: he has to be in after your child is asleep and out before he wakes up. Now let’s be clear, you child is probably not sleep 10 minutes after you put him to bed. Come on y’all! Wait at least an hour and then let the brother in. The converse of is true as well. He has got to be out an hour before your child wakes up. Do not budge on these parameters. Remember the Night Shift is a part of The Probe. Not the end of it. The point of this whole exercise is to keep you and your child safe and drama free. If he breaks the rules then, he loses his job. Lastly, make sure your bedroom door has a lock.
This may all seem a little unrealistic to you. I think achieving want you want most out of life requires work and no really achievement is gotten easily. Six months in the grand scheme of things is very little time. However, six months in the dating world is a very long time. The flakes will hopefully shake out by then. Remember women control relationships. Preserve your rights and reserve your right to extend the Probe.
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